This Is Who I Was...And Who I Am Now.
I was alone on a small sailboat by my own choice. I was 300 miles out to sea in the Atlantic Ocean during the Hurricane Season of 2011 and the day before I shot the video below, I battled a storm for eighteen hours.
The pivotal moment just before the transformation...
we all reach them whether we realize it at the time or not...
Upon reflection...
this was it...
and I forgive myself for being the way I was...
WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS VERBALLY INTENSE AND IS AGE RESTRICTED. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE HEARING CUSS WORDS LIKE THE "F" BOMB, SCREAMING, CRYING AND YELLING FROM A GROWN MAN, THEN DO NOT PLAY THIS VIDEO. GO TO ONE OF MY PEACEFUL VIDEOS OR SOME OTHER CHANNEL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. HOWEVER, IF YOU HAVE AN OPEN MIND, THEN READ BELOW AND CLICK PLAY...
Have you ever thrown a fit out of anger? Have you ever been through something so intense, that you lost it and freaked out? We all have. Most of us will never let other people know about it. Most of us will hide our shadows because we are too embarrassed to let other people know we are actually human and will lose it once in a while.
Me too. This un-edited video I have kept hidden for years because I was too afraid to show it. Even though the few trusted people I've shown it to, have said, "Frucci, this will actually help others feel better about themselves because they will see that they are not alone with their troubles."
Back in 2011 during Hurricane Season, I took off alone in the Atlantic Ocean. I ran into an intense storm about 300 miles out to sea...almost half way to the tiny island of Bermuda. I fought a physical as well as a mental battle for eighteen hours. The day after...the day I shot this video...I lost it.
That day transformed me forever. Sure, I still get pissed...we all do. In the years since, I've grown into a more peaceful human. Today, when I get tweaked, I meditate and the anger just flows away. It's okay to get angry. It's okay to feel emotions and let them out as long as no one gets hurt. You will heal yourself if you let it out. Four days later when I limped into Bermuda, the change had begun and a new self was in infancy.
I truly hope you are not offended by this. If you are...then well...okay. Perhaps you are looking at yourself in the mirror when you point your finger at me and say, "Frucci, you are a crazy idiot and you're a stupid angry fool."
Please note: Even though this video contains intense language, the book I wrote about the adventure, "Path of Three Hundred: Volume 1" does not contain any offensive language. I eliminated all of it from the book.
From the chapter, "Day 4 to the East," from my book, "Path of Three Hundred: Volume 1"
Yesterday is no more...
I see the sun rise in the East...
as my hand raises to feel the warmth...this...
is all there is now.
Ψ
As Petah awoke, Nature was calm. The night was ending with a faint
blueness in the sky signaling a new sunrise. The simple sailor performed his
duties immediately and without hesitation checking his direction, lines, sails
and position on the GPS. All was well. The autopilot had performed
perfectly during the rare sleep beyond the typical one and a half hours. Petah
realized he had slept for almost three hours. He remembered a couple of
nights before, sleeping for only an hour and almost being hit by a tanker, but
he wasn't hit by anything. He had survived a storm the day before. He was
alive and he was here now.
He dreamed of his adventure the night before, yet the details were sketchy
as he tried to remember, so he moved on to what he saw before him...open
sea and sky. As he looked at the sun now rising, Petah thought about how he
had arrived in the place he occupied in this moment. He had worked on
eliminating Bastethany and her minions from his thinking for almost a year
before he set sail. This morning he had decided after the hell of yesterday,
with the new-found strength he attained from the event, he decided to
process some of the anger still within him.
"I am here now. How did I get here so far from everything?"
Petah laughed at himself. Not just for talking to himself again, but for
dwelling on past events as well.
"But ya know, Sailor Boy. You're thinking about it, just let it out."
Petah screamed louder than he ever had screamed before, letting out all of
the air within his lungs. His throat hurt from the violent action. He repeated
this several times, feeling a near psychotic euphoria well up within his being.
"I'm losing it," Petah said calmly in a scratchy voice.