Throwing a Fit: "Run Toward That Which Scares You" Part Four

What you are about to witness, is the apex of a flowing moment in time of my life.  

There is a Journey within Journey sometimes...this was mine...and it was a battle with self.  

Prior to taking off alone into the Atlantic, I was a volcano ready to erupt emotionally.  I suppose the Universe (or whatever name you wish to call judgement from me), realized, "Okay.  Frucci is about to blow.  We need to toss his ass into something which will allow him to explode safely."

Thus the storm and the day after, hundreds of miles out to sea with only the birds to witness the eruption as it happened.

We all fear judgement.  I still battle it.  I am in human form just like you.  My fear of talking about all of this has prevented me from being completely open about it.  I feared what close friends, family...those I love dearly... would say and not say.  So I kept this hidden away and buried for years until recently.  My fear was rooted in what others may think...just as we all do.  I was making crap up in my head...just as we all do.  When we do this, those Truths of who we are...those real experiences of our past...will eat us alive from the inside out.  

We all wish to go through life peacefully.  We all wish to not be carrying to much weight on our shoulders.  We all wish to travel lightly.  At least this is what I believe from hearing what people say about things they keep buried.  

My lesson on the 2016 Hay House World Summit was about facing fear.  I walked people through a process of release of fear as I lived it in the present moment with them.  This post and video is part of the continuing process of walking my talk. 

Upon the release of your pain...there will be a moment of Love washing through you and you will be reconnected to the Divine in all of us.

One more quick thought before you watch this...

Some will tell you to forget the past.  I have been told the same thing from those who will "should" others based upon what their own personal belief system is.  That's cool and that's their way of going through life.  Yet, I know for a fact that the way my human brain works...I cannot delete any memory.  Sure, I can push it down and deny it exists, but if I allow myself to do that, I am also deleting magnificent lessons which I can take into the future I am creating right now.  So, for me at least, is to not dwell, but analyze and learn.  Use the information gathered and file it away for future use.  But, that's just the way I roll...I am not saying you "should" live life that way...I am not perfect.  :)

Before you judge another...first, make sure you are perfect.
— unknown


Like I said, last week, we talked about pushing stuff down, and I mentioned in the last video that in this video, I was going to talk about throwing a fit in anger. It’s something that we all do, and I know you’ve done it. I’ve done it.

Why did I throw a fit in that particular moment? 
I allowed fear of where I was in life to consume me.  The day after the storm, the 18-hour event where I was alone 300 miles out in the Atlantic Ocean with waves over 20 feet, winds blowing 50 knots and more was not something I wished to be going through.  I reacted to the memories of the day before and the years of how I got there in the only way I knew how back then...I exploded in a fit of rage.  I thank God, I was given the gift of where I was.  

If you’re thinking about some kind of challenge that you’re dealing with right now, you know in your heart that it’s going to end. It may not end the way you want it to, but the storm is going to pass, and then you’ll be able to focus a little more, and you’ll be able to deal with it.

I’m a firm believer in we humans not being given something that we can’t handle if we choose to handle it. Even me being that far out to sea alone on a tiny little boat and dealing with all of the things that I dealt with. 

Here’s a lesson perhaps:

You go through something, perhaps don’t push it down and forget about it. You file it away and put it in your pocket because I guarantee you something similar is going to come up again. Maybe you’re thinking about something like that right now. You have that file. You know it. You remember it, and then you go, “Oh yeah. Okay, so yeah. I remember that, so here’s what I need to tweak. Here’s how I can deal with it this time.” Then you deal with it in your present moment.  This way, all of our past becomes something to be loved because it is knowledge and the fertilizer for growth.  (I think there is a funny in there somewhere.)

Change is a wonderful thing. Transformation is a wonderful thing. I believe Transformation is not some "ah ha" moment, but is actually a loving process of growth from the combined experiences of our lives over time.  Some of those experiences, like the ones I lived through while at sea, can become major triggers for the process to accelerate.  For me, the major trigger moment was the storm.  

At the end of a transformation process comes what?  Transcendence.  I am not saying I am there yet.  However I am in a process of navigating towards that destination...I feel it within my core as I lovingly sail towards the horizon of my life.

Within the intense portion of the video...the moments at sea...I spoke about "good" qualities and "bad" qualities of self. [I put the words, good and bad in quotes because I believe those two English words are improper when relating to the word, quality...but that is another topic which I will not dive into here.  I am leaving it for now because those are the words I used in the video which was shot 5 years beliefs have transformed.] These are things to look at within us because when we own them, we can tweak them in order to become better humans.  How else could we analyze these aspects of self unless we review our past experiences?  If you attempt to forget your past, which is actually impossible, then you will forget what you are stellar at and what you could work on in order to grow.  Why in the hell would anyone want to forget what you're good at or not want to get better at something?  If I am missing something, please explain.

I also spoke about the word “relationship.”   My guess is that many a fit has been thrown over that one single word.  LOL.  The bottom line was this:   I have a relationship with my career. I have a relationship with this boat. I have a relationship with the sea. I have a relationship with God. I have a relationship with everything. Relationships are a relation to another person, place, or thing. It’s a relationship. What is wrong with the word?

Yes, I got a little bit pissed off.  Okay...a lot pissed off, but I released it with bliss following. That’s part of the lesson.

The old-world paradigm was to keep the crap down. Don’t let your emotions be on your sleeve. Don’t talk about stuff. Push it down.

That doesn’t work.  Look at all the negativity in the world.  Look at the negative people in your life.  It’s because they’re keeping their crap down and they’re not talking about it.

What works?  Talking about it.  One of my biggest personal lessons right now is the fact that I’ve released all of this, the fact that I’m talking about it, the fact that I talked about my own humiliation.  I can’t tell you how many people contact me and say, “Man, thank you. You’re allowing me to heal. It’s beautiful, man.”

Where this world is going I believe, is back to community. We’re getting back to helping each other grow. If somebody does help you grow, thank them. Express gratitude. When you give thanks, you receive it more. You receive love more, and that gives you the capability of pushing love more out there in the world. It’s a virus...a good one.

I challenge you. Take those steps of talking to people, engaging them in conversation. If you calmly approach a like-minded person that receives you and is able to give you constructive criticism back after you have requested it, you've found somebody. If you engage somebody in conversation and they put you down or they tell you you’re an idiot, you don’t need to talk to them anymore. It’s okay to talk about the weather or whatever, but that’s it and time to set some least, that is what I do. Find a community of open minded people and speak with them.

I have been in love with my pain.

Sure, I have released bits at a time over the years since my journey upon the sea...

but I didn't realize until today I possessed a fear of releasing it fully...  

My pain was like a warm blanket.

My pain has been my lover fueling me (or so I thought) with a creative fire.

As I release it now with admitting more humiliation...

I can finally let the pain go into the light with a shadow illuminated forever...

The experience will always be there, for we cannot delete memories.

The cool thing is this:  I have a priceless gem in my pocket which I will always be able to reference with a smile...and you have yours.

God, I love this life.

In the next video, which will be video number five, I will talk about experiences which cannot be explained.   Maybe there are experiences in your life which you can’t explain?

Remember...Discover what your Soul wants and tell your ego to take a least during the scary stuff.

Peace to you and may Peace fill all of us with Love.